The "Bank of Mom and Dad" Is Now How Most Young Buyers Get In

Getting help from family to buy a home has gone from a helpful boost to the default path for many younger buyers.

Forty percent of all homeowners received financial help with their down payment, up from 35% in 2023, according to LendingTree's 2026 Mortgage Down Payment Survey.

Among Gen Z homeowners, that figure jumps to 78%; among millennials, 56%. Just 12% of Baby Boomers got this kind of help when they bought.

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How common is family help, really?

The generational gap in LendingTree's data is stark. Forty percent of all current homeowners say they got some kind of financial help buying their home.

Break that down by generation, and the picture shifts fast: 78% of Gen Z homeowners got help, 56% of millennials did, and just 12% of baby boomers did when they bought.

That's not a temporary fad. It's close to becoming the norm for the youngest buyers rather than the exception. And for a meaningful share of them, it wasn't just a nice-to-have: about a third of everyone who received help say they couldn't have purchased their home without it.

The trend has also been climbing. LendingTree's 2023 data put the overall share of homeowners who got financial help at 35%; by 2026, that number had risen to 40%. Separate survey data from Redfin shows a similar pattern over a longer window.

Just 18% of millennials used a cash gift from family for their down payment in 2019, rising to 23% by 2023. As home prices have outpaced wage growth for young buyers, family money has increasingly stepped in to close the gap.

The emotional side nobody puts in the headline

Data points are easy to report. The feelings behind them are harder to capture, and LendingTree's survey actually asked.

Most people who received help felt grateful: 46% described it that way. But 21% of Gen Z recipients said they felt embarrassed about needing the assistance, more than double the 9% of millennials who said the same.

That's worth sitting with for a moment: a generation facing more challenging affordability math than their parents did is also carrying real feelings of shame about needing help to clear a bar that's simply higher than it used to be.

If you've felt that way, you're not alone, and you're not doing anything wrong by accepting help that puts you in a stable, appreciating asset instead of paying rent indefinitely. The math has changed more than the people navigating it.

If you don't have family money, here's what's actually available

Family help gets a lot of attention, but many young buyers still don't have access to this kind of help, or they don't have enough help cover the full down payment.

If that's your situation, real alternatives exist:

• Down payment assistance programs. Many state and local governments, along with some employers, offer grants or low-interest loans specifically to help with a down payment. What is down payment assistance covers how these programs typically work and how to find ones you might qualify for.
• Low-down-payment loan options. You don't need 20% down to buy a home. How much down payment you actually need for a house breaks down the real minimums across loan types, which are often much lower than people assume.
• FHA loans. Backed by the Federal Housing Administration, these typically allow lower down payments and more flexible credit requirements than conventional loans. FHA vs. conventional loans walks through how the two compare.
• First-time homebuyer tax credits and programs. Depending on where you live and your situation, you may qualify for tax benefits that ease the overall cost of a first purchase. Better's guide to the first-time homebuyer tax credit covers what's currently available.

None of these require family wealth, and combining more than one is common: a down payment assistance grant alongside an FHA loan, for example, can lower the amount you need to bring to closing on your own.

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If you're receiving (or giving) help, a few things to get right

If family money is part of your plan, lenders need to verify that gift funds are really gifts, not disguised loans, and there's specific documentation involved.

This guide to using a gift letter for your mortgage covers what lenders require, and this article explains the specific case where a family member sells you a home below market value rather than giving cash outright.

The short version: get the paperwork right early, be transparent with your lender about where funds are coming from, and loop in a tax professional if the amount is large enough to touch gift tax rules.

Once the source of funds is settled, Better's mortgage calculator can help you see how a larger or smaller down payment actually changes your monthly payment.

What this trend means for the housing market overall

Zoom out, and this data connects to a broader story: the median age of a first-time homebuyer in the U.S. recently hit 40 for the first time on record. Family-funded down payments are, in part, a response to that affordability squeeze — a way for younger buyers to enter the market years earlier than they otherwise could.

But it also means buyers without access to family capital are competing in a market increasingly shaped by those who do.

That's not a reason to be discouraged; it's a reason to be deliberate about which of the paths above — assistance programs, lower-down-payment loans, or simply a longer savings timeline — fits your actual situation, rather than assuming family help is the only route in.

Frequently Asked Questions

My parents offered to help with my down payment, but I feel weird about accepting it. Is that normal?

LendingTree's survey found 21% of Gen Z recipients felt embarrassed about needing family help, more than double the rate among millennials. It's a common reaction, but it doesn't change the practical benefit of accepting help that puts you into a stable asset sooner.

I'm 29 and don't have any family who can help me with a down payment. Am I behind everyone else my age?

Not necessarily. While 78% of Gen Z homeowners report getting some family help, that means a meaningful share bought without it. Down payment assistance programs, low-down-payment loan options, and FHA loans are all real paths that don't depend on family wealth.

Is it more common now for young buyers to get help from family than it used to be?

Yes. LendingTree's data shows the overall share of homeowners getting financial help rose from 35% in 2023 to 40% in 2026, and separate Redfin data shows the share of millennials using family cash gifts climbing from 18% in 2019 to 23% by 2023.

What are my options if I want to buy a house but don't have family money to help with the down payment?

State and local down payment assistance programs, low-down-payment conventional loans, and FHA loans are the main paths. Many buyers combine an assistance program with a low-down-payment loan to reduce what they need to bring to closing themselves.

Does using family money for a down payment make my mortgage application more complicated?

It adds a documentation step — lenders need a gift letter confirming the money is a gift, not a loan, along with proof of where the funds came from. It's a standard, well-understood process for lenders, not a red flag, as long as it's disclosed properly.

Is it better to save for my own down payment or accept help from my parents?

There's no universal answer. Accepting help can get you into a home years sooner, which matters given how much home prices tend to outpace savings timelines. Saving independently avoids any family financial entanglement but may mean waiting longer. The right choice depends on your relationship with the people offering help and your own timeline.

Does relying on family money for a down payment mean I'm not really a first-time homeowner in the same sense?

No. Down payment source doesn't change your status as a first-time homebuyer for loan program or tax purposes. It's simply one of several legitimate ways to fund a purchase, and it's now the majority path for Gen Z buyers specifically.

Is down payment assistance from a program as good as getting money from family?

It can be a genuinely strong option, though the terms vary by program — some are outright grants, others are low-interest loans or have repayment conditions if you sell within a certain window. It's worth reading the specific terms of any program you're considering, the same way you'd want clarity on any family arrangement.

The bottom line

Family help with a down payment has shifted from a bonus some buyers get to the majority path for Gen Z homeowners specifically.

That's worth knowing whether you're receiving it, giving it, or navigating a purchase without it — the market you're buying into assumes, more than ever, that family capital is part of the equation for young buyers.

Whatever your down payment source, the next step is the same: see what you qualify for so you know your real numbers before you start shopping.

...in as little as 3 minutes — no credit impact

Data referenced in this article is sourced from LendingTree's 2026 Mortgage Down Payment Survey and Redfin survey data, as cited. This article is for informational purposes only and is not an offer to lend or tax advice; consult a tax professional about your specific situation.